Taking Charge! – 10 Effective Ways to Stop Complaining and Enjoying a Happier Life :)

‘Urghh! This day just wouldn’t get any better!’

I exclaimed aggressively while stomping my foot and anxiously punching my keyboard keys as I saw three-hour’ worth of effort go to drain before my eyes when my report crashed and I had not saved it.

Back tracking a little, my morning did not start off well: first came the snoozed alarm which triggered a series of unfortunate events like me missing my breakfast, taking a shower hurriedly (without having any time to blow dry my hair or work on my grooming) then like a headless chicken (with a crazy hair frizz and sweaty brow and upper lip) I rushed towards the bus station only to see my work shuttle driving away.

Waiting for another bus while the sun showed no mercy made me cringe and curse.

To top it all- showing up late at work on the day of an important meeting looking like a helpless creature drenched in sweat, surely warrants a judgmental look from your boss!

My boss is another aspect of my story- he conveniently assigns me a report to prepare (prior to the meeting) stressing ‘it’s important and urgent’ (like all the emails and tasks he delegates me) for the discussion.

I get on it right away, prioritizing it over other (genuinely) important work that needs to be completed and just when I thought I’ve had my first win for the day- my report crashed on me. This was enough to plunge the rest of my day into darkness and had me whining and complaining about how miserable my life is.

This little snippet of what I would generally call a ‘bad’ day is not hard to relate to, we all experience such days every now and then unique to our lives and surroundings. It’s not uncommon for things to not go as per plan and to be honest, no one sits down and plans for failing in life. However, failures and debacles happen.

So what is our usual, built in response when things go wrong? We resort to complaining, but does complaining bring any good?

  1. Grumbling changes NOTHING

When we cuss and curse, only negative energy is released and nothing is gained from letting an outburst of emotions run astray. As humans, we can complain just about anything and everything in life: your spouse, kids, boss, friends, school, college, religion and even food.

By complaining, we choose to focus on what’s wrong, instead of what’s right. Once we let out our anger, does it amend the situation?

No. Does a solution present itself? No. Without even realizing, this habit manifests itself into a negative lifestyle making an individual a pessimist, peevish person.

Being Grumpy Doesn't Help

  1. Laws of Attraction

The kind of energy you attract is dependent on the kind of energy you emit. If you constantly complaint, you let out negative energy- it will trigger a downward spiral because it impacts your mindset accordingly.

Negativity is what you will see, feel and attract- making you more agitated. If you think complaining lets you vent out and feel better, otherwise holds true because once you have expressed your displeasure on a subject, you decide to view that situation in an unpleasant perspective which leads you to comment and feel more adversely.

Consequently, the conversations you have are guided that initial, spiteful perspective and without even realizing, you end up pin-pointing all the wrongs in the situation.

  1. Complaining represents a Fixed Mindset

According to Dweck, human response to failure or situations when things don’t go their way is critical in terms of determining whether a person has a fixed or a growth mindset.

People who complain a lot are not comfortable with failures, they do not adapt to changing circumstances easily and thus, represent a fixed mindset. Success comes to those who can view failure in a different light, use failure as information and adopt a problem solving attitude rather than a quitting response to adverse situations.

This is a quality people of a growth mindset possess and master overtime because they take failures as learning opportunities rather than debacles.

growth-vs-fixed-mindset

  1. Common Dislike comes at a Cost

Nothing unites people more strongly than a common dislike! Click to Tweet

says Trevor Blake, author of Three Simple Steps.

The easiest way to build friendship and communicate is through something negative! Click to Tweet

But whining comes at a cost, once we start complaining our brain produces stress hormones which harm neural connections in areas dedicated for problem solving and other cognitive functions.

How to Complain Less?

Here are 10 easy strategies to Complain Less!

  1. Be more self-aware and mindful

You need to be conscious about your words, actions and mindset. For example, someone asks you ‘how are you doing?’ on a rainy day, for most of us automatic responses would be like ‘slammed at work’, ‘don’t ask me about it! I’ve barely slept, my head hurts…’, ‘it’s a pathetic day…’, ‘I wish the day would end sooner’ etc.

Think before you speak, challenge your current state of mind and rephrase your statements to project positivity.

Alternative responses to above could be ‘I am doing well, how about yourself?’ and ‘Just a bit busy, I am working on this challenging project…’

  1. Ask yourself: why am I complaining?

It is important to uncover the real reason behind complaining and how does cribbing make you feel? Separate observations from complaints.

Address the real issue at hand and know what is causing pain for you? Tackle the bull by its horns, rather than going on and on about how miserable something has made you feel, address the real reason.

  1. Take a Count

How often do you complaint? What do you complaint most frequently about? Noting your behavior consciously will make you more aware and hence improve chances of you making an effort to drive complaining down.

  1. Choose your social circle wisely

Don’t stay in the company of chronic complainers, don’t lend an ear to people who seem to find wrong with every petty issue- believe it or not, your company impacts your mindset, emotional level and personality.

If you stop responding to chronic complainers and stop participating in their petulant conversations, soon you will notice they would turn away from you because they are not getting the stimulus they are looking for.

  1. Introduce Positive Statements in your routine conversations

For example: “I have had a challenging day at work but I am glad I have a job which lets me embark on new projects”. Find something positive to be thankful for.

  1. Appreciate rather than Complaint

For example: “I have to go out and do grocery”, say and feel “I get to do grocery and support my spouse in household chores”.

Look at the flip side of the coin, it will be challenging at first but practice makes perfect. Soon you will observe a positive change which will make you feel at peace and will enable you to appreciate your blessings wholeheartedly.

  1. Practice Meditation

Take some time out from the day and dedicate it for yourself- meditate and focus on positive vibes and energy. Practice breathing techniques to de-stress yourself and learn to enjoy silence. Let your nerves unwind and allow yourself to feel relaxed and free.

  1. Acknowledge your feelings

Don’t ignore how you feel or try too hard to suppress emotions which are triggering negative responses from you. It’s best to be assertive and talk to a family member, trusted aide or therapist.

There is no shame in acknowledging and talking about negative feelings, what’s more important is that you address your current state of mind constructively.

  1. Count your blessings

Make a list of things you are grateful for, give due credit to people who have stood by you through thick and thin and appreciate life for what it really is.

Don’t let the pursuit for perfection blind you- tell yourself, ups and downs are a part of everybody’s journey but how you maneuver and stay happy and grateful makes all the difference.

  1. Be the change you wish to see in the world

Accept responsibility, instead of pointing fingers and noting flaws in situations- invest effort to do something about it. Be pleasant and induce optimism, give others hope to feel happy and make their day better.

Final Thoughts

We don’t drift towards success, embarking on a journey for success and growth is intentional and it is done so by making good decisions and learning from the bad ones. One needs to pledge to make each day better by changing the decisions he/she takes.

It’s important you take care of yourself; your emotional and physical wellbeing is your responsibility.

Find out what makes you happy and do more of those activities or adopt those habits over ones that are resentful.

Rather than being skeptical, change your perspective, change your tone, evaluate how you wish to answer the question before letting those words out- turn your complaining quotient off and amp up your gratitude factor.

Feel Happy, Stay Happy




2 comments on Taking Charge! – 10 Effective Ways to Stop Complaining and Enjoying a Happier Life :)

  1. Khizer Zulfiqar says:

    Enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work guys.

    1. admin says:

      Thank You Khizer 🙂

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Taking Charge! – 10 Effective Ways to Stop Complaining and Enjoying a Happier Life :)

‘Urghh! This day just wouldn’t get any better!’

I exclaimed aggressively while stomping my foot and anxiously punching my keyboard keys as I saw three-hour’ worth of effort go to drain before my eyes when my report crashed and I had not saved it.

Back tracking a little, my morning did not start off well: first came the snoozed alarm which triggered a series of unfortunate events like me missing my breakfast, taking a shower hurriedly (without having any time to blow dry my hair or work on my grooming) then like a headless chicken (with a crazy hair frizz and sweaty brow and upper lip) I rushed towards the bus station only to see my work shuttle driving away.

Waiting for another bus while the sun showed no mercy made me cringe and curse.

To top it all- showing up late at work on the day of an important meeting looking like a helpless creature drenched in sweat, surely warrants a judgmental look from your boss!

My boss is another aspect of my story- he conveniently assigns me a report to prepare (prior to the meeting) stressing ‘it’s important and urgent’ (like all the emails and tasks he delegates me) for the discussion.

I get on it right away, prioritizing it over other (genuinely) important work that needs to be completed and just when I thought I’ve had my first win for the day- my report crashed on me. This was enough to plunge the rest of my day into darkness and had me whining and complaining about how miserable my life is.

This little snippet of what I would generally call a ‘bad’ day is not hard to relate to, we all experience such days every now and then unique to our lives and surroundings. It’s not uncommon for things to not go as per plan and to be honest, no one sits down and plans for failing in life. However, failures and debacles happen.

So what is our usual, built in response when things go wrong? We resort to complaining, but does complaining bring any good?

  1. Grumbling changes NOTHING

When we cuss and curse, only negative energy is released and nothing is gained from letting an outburst of emotions run astray. As humans, we can complain just about anything and everything in life: your spouse, kids, boss, friends, school, college, religion and even food.

By complaining, we choose to focus on what’s wrong, instead of what’s right. Once we let out our anger, does it amend the situation?

No. Does a solution present itself? No. Without even realizing, this habit manifests itself into a negative lifestyle making an individual a pessimist, peevish person.

Being Grumpy Doesn't Help

  1. Laws of Attraction

The kind of energy you attract is dependent on the kind of energy you emit. If you constantly complaint, you let out negative energy- it will trigger a downward spiral because it impacts your mindset accordingly.

Negativity is what you will see, feel and attract- making you more agitated. If you think complaining lets you vent out and feel better, otherwise holds true because once you have expressed your displeasure on a subject, you decide to view that situation in an unpleasant perspective which leads you to comment and feel more adversely.

Consequently, the conversations you have are guided that initial, spiteful perspective and without even realizing, you end up pin-pointing all the wrongs in the situation.

  1. Complaining represents a Fixed Mindset

According to Dweck, human response to failure or situations when things don’t go their way is critical in terms of determining whether a person has a fixed or a growth mindset.

People who complain a lot are not comfortable with failures, they do not adapt to changing circumstances easily and thus, represent a fixed mindset. Success comes to those who can view failure in a different light, use failure as information and adopt a problem solving attitude rather than a quitting response to adverse situations.

This is a quality people of a growth mindset possess and master overtime because they take failures as learning opportunities rather than debacles.

growth-vs-fixed-mindset

  1. Common Dislike comes at a Cost

Nothing unites people more strongly than a common dislike! Click to Tweet

says Trevor Blake, author of Three Simple Steps.

The easiest way to build friendship and communicate is through something negative! Click to Tweet

But whining comes at a cost, once we start complaining our brain produces stress hormones which harm neural connections in areas dedicated for problem solving and other cognitive functions.

How to Complain Less?

Here are 10 easy strategies to Complain Less!

  1. Be more self-aware and mindful

You need to be conscious about your words, actions and mindset. For example, someone asks you ‘how are you doing?’ on a rainy day, for most of us automatic responses would be like ‘slammed at work’, ‘don’t ask me about it! I’ve barely slept, my head hurts…’, ‘it’s a pathetic day…’, ‘I wish the day would end sooner’ etc.

Think before you speak, challenge your current state of mind and rephrase your statements to project positivity.

Alternative responses to above could be ‘I am doing well, how about yourself?’ and ‘Just a bit busy, I am working on this challenging project…’

  1. Ask yourself: why am I complaining?

It is important to uncover the real reason behind complaining and how does cribbing make you feel? Separate observations from complaints.

Address the real issue at hand and know what is causing pain for you? Tackle the bull by its horns, rather than going on and on about how miserable something has made you feel, address the real reason.

  1. Take a Count

How often do you complaint? What do you complaint most frequently about? Noting your behavior consciously will make you more aware and hence improve chances of you making an effort to drive complaining down.

  1. Choose your social circle wisely

Don’t stay in the company of chronic complainers, don’t lend an ear to people who seem to find wrong with every petty issue- believe it or not, your company impacts your mindset, emotional level and personality.

If you stop responding to chronic complainers and stop participating in their petulant conversations, soon you will notice they would turn away from you because they are not getting the stimulus they are looking for.

  1. Introduce Positive Statements in your routine conversations

For example: “I have had a challenging day at work but I am glad I have a job which lets me embark on new projects”. Find something positive to be thankful for.

  1. Appreciate rather than Complaint

For example: “I have to go out and do grocery”, say and feel “I get to do grocery and support my spouse in household chores”.

Look at the flip side of the coin, it will be challenging at first but practice makes perfect. Soon you will observe a positive change which will make you feel at peace and will enable you to appreciate your blessings wholeheartedly.

  1. Practice Meditation

Take some time out from the day and dedicate it for yourself- meditate and focus on positive vibes and energy. Practice breathing techniques to de-stress yourself and learn to enjoy silence. Let your nerves unwind and allow yourself to feel relaxed and free.

  1. Acknowledge your feelings

Don’t ignore how you feel or try too hard to suppress emotions which are triggering negative responses from you. It’s best to be assertive and talk to a family member, trusted aide or therapist.

There is no shame in acknowledging and talking about negative feelings, what’s more important is that you address your current state of mind constructively.

  1. Count your blessings

Make a list of things you are grateful for, give due credit to people who have stood by you through thick and thin and appreciate life for what it really is.

Don’t let the pursuit for perfection blind you- tell yourself, ups and downs are a part of everybody’s journey but how you maneuver and stay happy and grateful makes all the difference.

  1. Be the change you wish to see in the world

Accept responsibility, instead of pointing fingers and noting flaws in situations- invest effort to do something about it. Be pleasant and induce optimism, give others hope to feel happy and make their day better.

Final Thoughts

We don’t drift towards success, embarking on a journey for success and growth is intentional and it is done so by making good decisions and learning from the bad ones. One needs to pledge to make each day better by changing the decisions he/she takes.

It’s important you take care of yourself; your emotional and physical wellbeing is your responsibility.

Find out what makes you happy and do more of those activities or adopt those habits over ones that are resentful.

Rather than being skeptical, change your perspective, change your tone, evaluate how you wish to answer the question before letting those words out- turn your complaining quotient off and amp up your gratitude factor.

Feel Happy, Stay Happy




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