We don’t promote bullying but in certain situations to counter bullies you need smart comments. You have to give them an answer in their language to make sure they get the message. So this list is not for bullies; it’s a list for people like me who get bullied. This is a list of self defense catchphrases that you can use against bullies and teach them a lesson- the witty way…

When Bully says Something Obvious

No Shit! Sherlock

When someone states something really really obvious then you have to respond with a pun. “No Shit! Sherlock” is commonly used in informal settings when someone has mentioned an already understood thing.
There are some other phrases you can use in similar situations like:

1. Capitan Obvious
2. What was your first clue?
3. Figure that one out all by yourself?
4. You Don’t Say?
5. No Kidding Colombo!

When Bully is Buttering the Boss Up

Butter Somebody Up

It’s the most common behavior in hierarchical systems. The phrase “Butter Somebody Up” is used when someone is trying to flatter someone by being over friendly. Organizations are filled with people pleasers but sometimes the situation demands you to butter someone up.  
There are lots of phrases which can be used for flattery but “Butter Somebody Up” is the classiest. As these “Butter people up” situations are very common there are lots of phrases and words for similar ‘flattering’ situations:

1. Suck Up to
2. Spread it On thick
3. Play Up to Somebody/Something
4. Rub the right way
5. Lick someone’s boot
6. Fall all over
   There are certain words that you can use in similar situations like:
7. Sweet Talk
8. Brownnose
9. Apple Polish
10. Kiss UP!

When Shit hits the Bully?

That’s the way Cookie Crumbles

“SHIT Happens” cannot be used in every shitty situation. For more sophisticated settings we have a phrase “That’s the way Cookie Crumbles”. There are other phrases for similar situations like:
Phrase that is used in continuation of “Shit Happens” is “That’s life”. Better statements you can use instead of “That’s life” are:

1. C’est la vie
2. The way of the WORLD
3. It’s in the Cards

When the Bully Exaggerates?

All Bark No Bite

A common strategy used by bullies is that they just talk and talk always trying to impress people with their ideas but nothing is backed by action. Sometimes this strategy is good but one should know when to stop. If you get famous for this behavior then everything will go in vain.
This phrase is very rude and cannot be used in formal situations. We have made a list of other phrases that have a similar meaning as “All Bark No Bite”.

1. Give Color To
2. Make a Production Of
3. Play on Heartstrings
4. Give a good account of oneself
5. Flatter Oneself
6. Blow one’s own horn
7. Hold Head High
8. Hug Oneself
9. Attract attention
10. Ride the high horse
11. Shout off one’s mouth
12. Pat Oneself on the back
13. Toot one’s own horn
14. Blow Smoke
15. Congratulate Oneself
16. Make too much of
    Following words can also be used in “All Bark No Bite” or “Toot One’s own Horn” situations:
17. Show Off
18. Hyperbolize
19. Flaunt
20. Swagger
21. Showboat
22. Bulldoze
23. Browbeat
24. Gloat
25. Bombast
26. Loud Talk
27. Pretty Up
28. Embroider

When the Bully Tries to reach for your project

Bite off more than one can CHEW

Corporate life is a sure shot complex pyramid. A lot of times people want the same things and even when their own plate is full they want more. “Bite off more than one can CHEW” is ideal for situations when someone is trying to overload themselves with work.
There are few other phrases that can be used in such ‘chewy’ situations:

1. Have a Lot on Plate
2. Full to the top
3. Up to the Hilt
4. Packed Like Sardines
5. Have many irons in the Fire
6. In the Field
7. Have Fish to Fry
8. Running Over
9. Chock full
10. Full to the gills
11. Have Plate Full
12. Level with
    There are many words the can be used in “Biting more than one can chew”, “Over Occupied” situations:
13. Engrossed
14. Already Taken
15. Inundate
16. Swamp
17. Brimming
18. Potful
19. Loaded
20. Jam Pack
21. Crammed

This is just the start, We will come up with more comebacks that you can use against Bully and make them taste their own medicine….